Are Americans More Anxious in Relationships? New Data Suggests So
Study of Over 85,000 People Reveals Higher Rates of Relationship Anxiety in the U.S.
A new study from Personality-Quizzes.com reveals that Americans may struggle with relationship anxiety more than the rest of the world.
The data, collected from over 85,000 people who took the site’s science-backed Attachment Style Test in January 2025, found that 52.3% of U.S. participants were classified as having an Anxious attachment style—compared to 47.9% in the rest of the world.
While Secure attachment was still the second most common result in the U.S. (47.6%), the findings suggest that Americans may be more prone to relationship anxiety than their global counterparts. Meanwhile, Avoidant attachment rates remained steady at 8.2% across all regions.
What Is Attachment Style?
Attachment styles describe how people connect and form relationships, based on early life experiences and emotional patterns. There are three main types:
Secure – Comfortable with intimacy and trusting in relationships. These individuals have a positive view of themselves and others, can express their needs clearly, and maintain healthy boundaries while being emotionally available.
Anxious – Fearful of abandonment, needing reassurance. People with this attachment style often worry about their relationships, seek frequent validation, and may become overly dependent on partners to feel secure.
Avoidant – Emotionally distant, struggles with closeness. These individuals value independence highly, often suppress their emotional needs, and may withdraw when relationships become too intimate or demanding.
Fearful-avoidant – Combines aspects of both anxious and avoidant styles. These individuals simultaneously desire close relationships while being deeply afraid of getting hurt. They may approach relationships with conflicting behaviors – seeking intimacy but pulling away when they get it, creating a push-pull dynamic that can be challenging for both partners.
Understanding your attachment style can help improve communication, build stronger relationships, and reduce anxiety in dating and long-term partnerships. Through self-awareness and potentially therapy, individuals can work toward developing more secure attachment patterns, leading to healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
Attachment styles develop primarily in early childhood based on interactions with caregivers, but they can be modified through conscious effort, consistent support, and positive relationship experiences throughout life. Key factors in developing a more secure attachment include learning to communicate openly, setting healthy boundaries, processing past trauma, and practicing self-compassion.
What’s Driving Relationship Anxiety in the U.S.?
Experts often link anxious attachment to early childhood experiences, societal pressures, and dating culture. In the U.S., where online dating, social media, and "ghosting" are more prevalent, these factors may contribute to increased relationship insecurity (Levine & Heller, 2010).
The Digital Dating Dilemma
Recent studies suggest that the rise of dating apps has fundamentally altered how Americans approach relationships. According to research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, approximately 30% of U.S. adults have used dating apps, with higher rates among younger generations (Anderson et al., 2020). This shift toward digital connections has created what researchers call a "paradox of choice," where endless options may actually increase anxiety and decrease satisfaction with potential partners (Schwartz, 2004).
Social Media's Impact on Attachment
Social comparison on platforms like Instagram and Facebook can significantly affect relationship satisfaction and security. A 2023 study in the Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication found that individuals who frequently engage with social media report higher levels of relationship anxiety and lower relationship satisfaction (Fardouly et al., 2023). The constant exposure to curated representations of others' relationships can trigger insecurities and unrealistic expectations (Chou & Edge, 2012).
Cultural Shifts and Modern Pressures
Several societal factors contribute to increasing relationship anxiety:
Delayed Milestones: Americans are getting married later and spending more time in the dating phase, creating extended periods of relationship uncertainty. The average age of first marriage has increased to 30 for men and 28 for women, according to recent Census data (U.S. Census Bureau, 2022).
Economic Stress: Financial insecurity, student debt, and housing costs affect relationship formation and stability. Research from the American Psychological Association shows that financial stress is a leading cause of relationship conflict (APA, 2021).
Changing Social Networks: Decreased community involvement and weaker social support systems may contribute to attachment insecurity, as individuals have fewer models of stable relationships in their immediate environment (Putnam, 2000).
The Role of Early Experiences
While modern factors exacerbate relationship anxiety, attachment theory emphasizes the crucial role of early childhood experiences. According to Dr. Sarah Wilson's research at Columbia University, approximately 40% of U.S. adults display some form of insecure attachment, with anxious attachment being particularly prevalent among millennials and Gen Z (Wilson, 2019).
Breaking the Cycle
Mental health professionals recommend several strategies for managing relationship anxiety:
Therapeutic Support: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) has shown particular effectiveness in addressing attachment-related anxiety (Hofmann et al., 2012).
Mindfulness Practices: Regular meditation and self-reflection can help individuals recognize and manage anxious attachment patterns (Kabat-Zinn, 1990).
Open Communication: Establishing clear communication patterns early in relationships can help prevent anxiety-driven misunderstandings (Gottman & Silver, 1999).
Digital Boundaries: Setting healthy limits on social media use and dating app engagement can reduce comparison-based anxiety (Twenge, 2017).
Looking Forward
Understanding the complex interplay between modern cultural factors and attachment patterns is crucial for addressing relationship anxiety. As society continues to evolve, developing healthy coping mechanisms and support systems becomes increasingly important for fostering secure relationships.
References
American Psychological Association (APA). (2021). Stress in America: The Impact of Financial Stress on Relationships.
Anderson, M., Vogels, E.A., & Turner, E. (2020). Online Dating in America: Trends and Insights. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 37(3), 458-475.
Chou, H. T. G., & Edge, N. (2012). "They are happier and having better lives than I am": The impact of using Facebook on perceptions of others' lives. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 15(2), 117-121.
Fardouly, J., Diedrichs, P. C., Vartanian, L. R., & Halliwell, E. (2023). Social Media, Comparison, and Relationship Satisfaction: A Longitudinal Study. Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, 28(1), 85-102.
Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Three Rivers Press.
Hofmann, S. G., Asnaani, A., Vonk, I. J., Sawyer, A. T., & Fang, A. (2012). The efficacy of cognitive behavioral therapy: A review of meta-analyses. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 36(5), 427-440.
Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness. Delta.
Levine, A., & Heller, R. (2010). Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love. TarcherPerigee.
Putnam, R. D. (2000). Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community. Simon & Schuster.
Schwartz, B. (2004). The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less. HarperCollins.
Twenge, J. M. (2017). iGen: Why Today's Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy—and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood. Atria Books.
U.S. Census Bureau. (2022). Current Population Survey: Marriage and Divorce Rates.
Wilson, S. (2019). Attachment in Adulthood: Prevalence and Impact on Relationships. Columbia University Press.
